January review

There goes the first month of 2018

Just a short review of how I performed  VS  my plan/expectation of of myself 

To Do List

1.) Meditate

- Been doing like 5 to 10 minute a day, sometimes 20 to 30 min on weekend

- But not so consistent after I started internship

- Plenty of room for improvement

2.) Trading

i.) Paper Trade

- Yes, have been doing quite consistently

- Despite I have not even been performing good in paper trading, the real aim here is to obtain experience and feedback from the market, so that I can move up the learning curve faster

ii.) Visual backtest

- I focus less on this since market turned good in later December, but since the market has turned bearish again, I plan to do more of this now

iii.) Read books

- Have read quite a lot of books on ktm 

- However, I find that it is also important to be able to integrate what you read into real life practice

- Anyway, read > no read

- Ironically I read more when I am working than when I am on holiday lol

iv.) Read newspaper

- YESS, this is the habit I had been wanting to develop for so long

- Proud to say that now I am reading the Edge weekly, Busyweekly, and also The Star Business online (during lunch) on a regular basis !!

- Seriously learned so much 

v.) Real trading

- Of course, also done some research fundamentally + technically

- I know I can push myself harder, just waiting for the moment

3.) Data analysis

i.) Excel

- Have been learning excel on Youtube since 2017 September

- Finished a video series that has around 100 videos of excel tutorial in 2 months (1 or 2 video per day will do, easy)

- Improved a lot compared to when I first started at least

ii.) Excel VBA

- Just started learning

- I jumped back and forth between a few languages lolll, I tried R at first, then changed to Python (which I really want to master ONE DAY !!), then I "decided" to really go for Excel VBA first

- Reason being it is more commonly practiced in the industry, despite it is not the strongest language

- And I am aiming for a job in finance industry, so yeah

iii.) Python

- One day, one day 

4.) CFA level 2

- I started few months ago, then stopped and turned my focus to stock analysis

- The plan now is to study Financial Reporting Analysis, Equity, and Fixed Income, in the hope that the knowledge will come in handy if I get any job interview 

5.) SOA

- Have not done any study on SOA in 2018

- I always want to take P, FM, MFE, and C

- I will test myself by studying FM for a month, if I am happy with my progress/performance, I will register for April paper

6.) Workout

i.) Weightlifting

- I still can't get bigger, in fact I think I have gotten smaller in size

- However I just signed up for SunGym membership again, hopefully I can pump my upper body a size bigger

- Also main reason being I always workout in the morning around 5 30 am, so I am usually not at my best condition, plus I don't have money to buy additional weigh plates so I always lift around 15 kg per dumbbell 

ii.)Brazillian Jiu-Jitsu

- I have stopped my favourite sport, in order to make time for studying the stock market

- But one day when I finally become a retail trader, I will go back

- My life goal in this sport is to obtain a black belt one day

iii.) Diet

- I am so proud to say that I am back on track with healthy eating

- It is TOTALLY NOT TRUE when people say you don't have a life when you eat healthy MOST OF THE TIME

- The thing is, I eat healthy when I can, and still eat good food when I hangout with friends, and on weekend dinner with family, it is really a satisfying balanced life of being healthy and in the mean time still eat good food

- Oat is my stapled breakfast since I was 16, nowadays I "cook" my own lunch, which is brocolli + chicken breast + leftover rice from previous day dinner

- However now that I discover Sam's Grocer, my lunch becomes brocolli + potato + protein shake OR popcorn chicken salad (YUMMY!!)

7.) Blog #EDITED
- I totally forgot about this just now hahaha
- Managed to update my blog on a weekly basis, not bad
- Find that I want to express myself in my blog because I quite instagram and snapchat already
- Also manage to steer away from writing personal issue MOST OF THE TIME, but then later this post consist something about my crush also lol, but is okay, who read my bog anyway (which is one big reason I like my blog a lot XD )

To Not Do List

1.) Hit snooze button

- Yes, proud to say that I am FINALLY able to wake up at 5 without hitting snooze button 95% of the time

- It is not easy not easy not easy not easy T.T

- One thing I do is I immediately take my phone and use it for around 20 to 30 minutes in the living room, that usually will reduce my sleepiness

2.) Perfectionist

- This apply in stock analysis more

- Yeah I am not a perfectionist in doing analysis, I made mistakes and I cut loss

3.) Impulse net surfing

- At least I read on the ktm, during lunch break

- I am still guilty of this, but it is improving

4.) Play pokemonshowdown

- I just played haha

- But I rarely play on weekdays now, so is a big improvement as well !

MY THOUGHT

Ok January 2018 was okay, fine, not bad

Despite my disappointing result in the stock market, it was really not entirely my fault as it was a combination of lack of experience (which I mitigated by cutting loss and later position sizing), strange divergence between market index and market breadth, and lack of luck 

One of my friend(IS LI YIN!!) said I really cared about people opinion's on me, I would like to say that, in my humble opinion, I care about how I look at myself, because it is what I thought how people would look at me

It is not only physical appearance, intellectual caliber is also quite important for my self confidence

It is why I decided to take SOA this year, I will elaborate more in my December 2018 post if I get to pass them

The hardest thing for me to do is of course to wake up early to workout, and still failed to look great because I am not handsome :3  

Sometimes at night I will look into the mirror and have doubt like "why the fxck am I doing this, I am not going anywhere", but I believe beyond all the self doubt and plateau, my dream awaits me

Also I got rejected again, I always kinda want to assume she is a nice girl and the kind of "friendship" we have actually means sth in her heart, it is just one and another plain disappointments again again and again from day 1 til the last day (and also happy moments, which somehow make me sadder now lol !! )

It is not fair of course to say this in my perspective, I can understand that she just want to be happy, even if happiness is just at the moment or at the expenses of other friends' feelings, but I can understand, because most people are like that in this world, most who seek external validation are like that
We probably disappoint each others too many times

The plan is to move on and totally deleting her from my life and hope she will do well without me knowing anything (1% chance she will knock on my door and I will lose my mind and answer it again, Zzz)

ANYWAYYYY, to pick up the mood, I am relatively fine this time as I have plenty of things to distract me beside the good old fashion unfollowing everything, so glad that I didn't lose my sleep this time oh my gosh it was the worst experience ever, I still lose my appetite though, but that is good because then I eat very healthy and light

I am looking forward to a better version of myself this year, and of course hoping my friends will do well, especially those who always believe in me(not many), really means a lot when I doubt myself. 

Time will heal my wound (sobs, still hurt)

Let's have a rockstar Febuary ;)

--------------------------------------------我是分割线------------------------------------------------

我们都曾经寂寞而给对方承诺

我们都因为折磨而厌倦了生活

只是这样的日子 同样的方式 还要多久

我们改变了态度而接纳了对方

我们委屈了自己成全谁的梦想

只是这样的日子 还剩下多少 已不重要

时常想起过去的温存 它让我在夜里不会冷

你说一个人的美丽是认真

两个人能在一起是缘份

早知道是这样 像梦一场

我才不会把爱都放在同一个地方

我能原谅 你的荒唐

荒唐的是我没有办法遗忘

早知道是这样 如梦一场

我又何必把泪都锁在自己的眼眶

让你去疯 让你去狂

让你在没有我的地方坚强

让我在没有你的地方疗伤

##最近很喜欢这首歌，跟我心情完全无关，只是我可以假幻想自己痴情

##真心希望你在我看不到的地方幸福啦，不过主要是我要看不到
##其实我的部落格是不是只有我在看哈哈哈